Category Archives: Tary

Happy 3rd Anniversary

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Back on July 11th, Tary and I took the day off to celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary. It was a beautiful sunny day and I’m glad we got to spend the bulk of it focusing on just the two of us.

After dropping off the boys at daycare, we started our day together at the Pheasant Lane Mall to buy some new shoes for Daniel. Running errands isn’t exactly what you’d like to do while celebrating an anniversary but sometimes being a parent requires squeezing in required tasks. The other consolation is that we did it together. There was a new crepes store in the food court that I wanted to try but they weren’t going to be ready soon so I settled for a pretzel dog and Tary bought nuggets from Chick-fil-A.

We then headed to the new Merrimack Premium Outlets. We were surprised at how quickly we arrived. It’s certainly a lot closer than the Wrentham Outlets and it’s tax free!!! I liked that there was plenty of parking. I also liked how the plaza was a big circle with stores on each side of us. I liked the open roof design which let light and fresh air in while providing some additional shade. It was a little confusing that there were no designated stores for kids or babies (e.g., Baby Gap, Baby Polo, etc.) but we quickly figured out that they were located in subsections of their parent stores. We will definitely come back here when looking for a bargain.

Next we drove for about an hour to Brown’s for lunch. I ordered a quart of steamers for $13. I’ve never really eaten steamers before but it was really fun to eat. First you rip off the “beard”, dip the body in cup of water that was used in steaming the steamers, and then you drown it in the clarified butter. Mmm!

Tary ordered a plate of fried clams and scallops with a side of fries and coleslaw. She also added an order of crab cakes and more fried scallops for us to share. The fried scallops was delicious but it’s weird how there’s something about them that always makes me feel full.

After lunch we headed to Hampton Beach. Being that it was a weekday, it was fairly easy to find a metered parking spot along the main strip. I sat on the beach while Tary enjoyed a dip in the water. I didn’t really want to get wet because we had to pick up the boys later in the afternoon and I didn’t want to go home to shower first.

We then walked along the water hand-in-hand. It was a really warm day and it felt good to get my feet wet. There were lots of other people playing in and around the water as well.

One thing that stood out was how much the area has been updated. The new facilities are clean and modern. I liked how the parking area takes credit cards. Who carries change anymore? I also liked the new posted signs that help guide you back onto the highway.

We walked along the strip enjoying the sights, sounds, and people. Tary was really happy to see a Hawaiian shaved ice stand and paid for an order. She then proceeded to tell me how much she loved them as a kid. I bought some fried dough from another vendor and we sat and enjoyed our desserts. I love seeing my wife that happy.

After a nice time relaxing on the beach, we returned home to pick up our boys from daycare. It was such a great day and I was glad that I was able to spend it with my lovely wife. The past 3 years have been amazing and I am incredibly blessed to be married to such an amazing woman. I love you Tary!

My Perfect Wife

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Nearly 4 years ago I made the best decision that I had ever made; I asked Tary to marry me. I know that I haven’t been perfect. I know that I’ve led us along some bumpy twists and turns along the way. But what I know now more than ever is that we are absolutely perfect for each other. I am extremely blessed to call Tary my wife.

Words cannot begin to describe how absolutely in love I am right now. Even though we will soon be married for 3 years in a few months, our love continues to grow. Marriage should not be a destination. And for us, I am glad it is just the beginning.

What’s funny is that we’re both very strong-willed, always-have-to-be-right types. I am so thankful though that Tary is not one of those must-take-charge, dominate-my-man, wear-the-pants-in-the-family types. I am glad that she is smart and independent enough to make good decisions on her own. I am even happier that she knows when to defer and that she has faith that I can make the final decisions for us and our family.

I am looking forward to us growing old together. We make beautiful, wonderful, sweet children together and I’m looking forward to our family growing. I can’t wait to see them grow up and what they’ll eventually become. I’m looking forward to our family trips and making new memories. And all this is possible because of Tary, my perfect wife.

A Nice Dinner Date

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A few Saturdays ago (January 28, 2012) Tary and I got to spend the majority of the day together without the kids and go on our first date since Matthew’s birth. I dropped Daniel off with my parents at around 10 AM so they could bring him to UMass Lowell for Tet (Vietnamese New Year). We left Matthew with Tary’s parents and gave some last minute instructions for them because this was the first time we left him with anyone for an extended period of time.

Even on a date night we still had to take advantage of our time away from our kids to get some errands done quickly. We went to the mall to buy some hand soap on sale. We also looked for some toddler books at Target for Daniel but could not find the books we had in mind for him.

We went to Toys R Us next but did not find many books there either. While standing in an aisle an older lady approached us and asked if we knew each other. It turned out to be the grandmother-in-law of my childhood best friend. She was with his son Eric who is now 6-years-old. We shared a brief conversation and caught up a little bit.

Tary and I then went to Barnes & Noble and spent quite a bit of time in their children’s book area. I tried to find a book that the kids read at daycare titled The Way I Feel by Janan Cain but it was not in stock. Tary found a specific section with classic toddler books and picked out at least a half-dozen of them for Daniel.

We then went grocery shopping at Stop N Shop to use the remaining balance of a gift card we received earlier in the year. The store is so ridiculously overpriced that I wonder how people can regularly shop here when the much more reasonably priced Market Basket is sitting on the opposite side of the street. We bought some items for a few dishes planned for the week. We put away the groceries at home before finally heading out on our date.

We went to Longhorn Steakhouse at around 5 PM. We were hoping to beat the dinner crowd but the restaurant was packed. There was a 45 to 50 minute wait. We grabbed our buzzer and waited in lobby with everyone else but it was pretty much standing room only. I asked the maître d’ if our buzzer would work from the parking lot and she said yes. After waiting in our car for about a half hour, we went inside the restaurant and were seated about 15 minutes later.

Tary and I started our dinner with our customary order of western battered shrimp. We also wanted to try something new so we ordered the shrimp and lobster chowder. The chowder was good but not as savory as I was hoping for and was a bit too sweet for my taste. For our entrees Tary ordered a rack of ribs with a side of mashed potatoes. I ordered the rib eye with vegetables. Our meals were delicious as always. Most importantly, our conversations were great and often centered around our kids.

By now we missed our boys dearly and once dinner was over we raced to go get them. We went to get Daniel first and he was wearing clothes other than what he came there with (which happens frequently when he is with my parents for any length of time). I changed him back into his original clothes while briefly getting a recap of how his day went with my parents. I’m glad that they reported that he had a good time running around Cumnock Hall and that he ate a lot. My poor dad looked exhausted.

The three of us went to Tary’s parents’ house next. We hung out there for a while instead of returning the following day during our weekly visits. Tary’s cousins Katherine and Peter volunteered at Tet so they got to see Daniel with my parents there. It was funny hearing Katherine explain why my dad looked so tired. My mom was watching some performances there while my dad got the enviable job of chasing Daniel around the hall. Katherine also shared that she got to show off Daniel to some of her friends. Of course I’m a little biased but I always swell up with pride when others comment on how cute he is.

It was a great date night. I love my wife so much. It was great just being able to talk with her and having a conversation when we’re not both deliriously tired. Matthew has now outgrown the “OMG, he’s so small/fragile” stage and we’re more comfortable with someone other than ourselves watching him. I’m looking forward to more dates like this night where we can remind ourselves that we’re very much a husband and wife as well as being Daddy and Mommy.

Eating Healthy Can Kill You

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On May 25th Tary ordered a cinnamon raisin bagel from Dunkin Donuts. However they messed up the order and gave her a multigrain bagel instead. Thinking that this was healthier for her and Banh Mi, she ate it. A short while later, she called to tell me that she started breaking out in hives on both sides of her neck and her airways felt constricted. I told her to call her doctor and they told her to go to the ER.

I rushed out of work, fought through some traffic, and picked up Daniel from daycare. I dropped him off with Tary’s parents and raced to the hospital. By the time I got there, Tary had already been given some Benadryl and she was discharged shortly after. It’s kind of upsetting that she spent so much waiting to be treated but only received minimal care when it was her turn. On top of all that, our ER co-pay recently doubled to $150!

Since Tary wasn’t allowed to drive herself home, I picked her up and we went back to her parents’ house. The medicine started to kick in and she passed out on the floor of the family room for several hours.

Normally Daniel loves playing at Tary’s parents’ house but something wasn’t right. He felt unusually warm. While Tary’s cousins were playing with him, he suddenly threw up multiple times and it got all over his clothes. We quickly changed him, got packed up, and headed home.

On the ride home, Daniel fell asleep so I called Uncle Jesse to help me drive Tary’s car back home. I picked him up at his house and we went back to the hospital parking garage. He hopped in Tary’s car and he followed us back home.

At home, Tary was still exhausted from the medicine so she went straight to bed. I brought Daniel upstairs and gave him a bath before putting him to bed. Whew…what a day.

We’re not entirely sure what triggered Tary’s allergic reaction but the hospital staff speculated it was caused by the progesterone supplements that Tary’s been on. Her PCP does not think so because progesterone is already a naturally occurring hormone. It probably was caused by the multigrain bagel which Tary wouldn’t normally eat. See what happens when you try to eat healthy? Emergency room, visit #5 for those keeping count.

Mother’s Day

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I ordered a nice bouquet of flowers and scheduled them to be delivered at Tary’s work place in time for Mother’s Day. I never ordered from FTD.com before but Tary had mentioned their name so I figured it’d be okay to order from there. Big mistake.

Thursday came and I received an email confirming the delivery. A few minutes later, I received a text message from Tary saying that they must have messed up the order because she was delivered carnations and she knows that I would never order those for her. On top of that, some of the stems were bent. My card was there but the rest of the bouquet was all wrong.

Note: Daniel, don’t ever buy your Mommy or your girlfriend carnations because it’s the equivalent of saying, “I don’t think too highly of you or I’m too cheap to buy you nice roses.” So don’t do it if you know what’s good for you.

Anyways, I was so embarrassed. I wanted to do something really sweet for Tary for Mother’s Day so she could enjoy it with her co-workers but a bouquet of broken penny flowers were delivered instead. I called Tary and she seemed to handle it better than I was. I had to make it right!

I called FTD’s customer service and I was greeted by a woman with a heavy accent (probably from somewhere in India). I can’t stand it when customer service has been outsourced to a foreign country so my blood pressure was already starting to rise.

I started to voice my complaints when I was interrupted to give the order number. I paused to do so and continued to voice my complaints. Again I was interrupted to get my first name. Then my last name. And my address. Then something unintelligible.

“What?” I asked. Then more unintelligible sounds.

“WHAT?” I repeated. Again she uttered something even more unintelligible.

“WHAT?! I can’t understand what you’re saying!” I paused. Then I realized she was saying “What is the RECIPIENT’S NAME?”

Okay, my patience ran out and I sternly reminded her that I already gave her my order number which is all she needs to pull up my order and all of the required info. All I wanted was the correct flowers to be delivered in time for Mother’s Day. Instead the best she could do was redeliver them the following Monday. What good are Mother’s Day flowers which arrive AFTER Mother’s Day?

That was unacceptable. She kept interrupting me and saying, “Let me have the opportunity to make this right for you.” I kept telling her Monday was not good enough. I demanded to talk to her manager. She repeating her previous statement as if reading from a script. Have I mentioned that I hate outsourced customer service?

I finally got in touch with her manager and unfortunately it was another woman with a heavy accent. I repeated my story in vain. She tried to offer to redeliver for Monday and give me a 30% discount off of a future purchase. Why would I ever want to order from FTD again?

She said the best she could do was contact a local floral shop and deliver something comparable if I picked out another bouquet from their website. I refused to go back to my computer and go through the effort of picking out another bouquet when they were the ones who messed up. I told her that she already knew what I ordered to and for her to figure it out. She reluctantly agreed and said she could have it delivered on Saturday. Sigh.

I called Tary and gave her an update. At this point she felt bad that I went through all of this trouble and would be okay if she didn’t get flowers. In fact she wanted me to call them back to cancel the redelivery and just get a refund. Shortly after our phone call, she let me know that she called them and got it taken care of. Wow, that was fast. I love it when she gets tough.

So that all happened in the days leading up to Mother’s Day. As for Mother’s Day itself, we started by going to church. Pastor preached that mothers are probably the closest thing to Christ on earth. Mothers are loving and forgiving. They are nurturing and caring. Daniel and I are blessed to have Tary in our lives.

After church we went home and played with Daniel in our living room. We all were tired from his birthday party the day before so we all fell asleep passed out as a family on the floor.

Later that evening, I starting making Pho (Vietnamese beef noodle soup) just for Tary. For some reason she prefers the taste of my Pho over even my mother’s. The broth was rich and flavorful (and full of beef meatballs, Tary’s favorite part). I think this may be the start of a new Trinh family tradition. Pho for Mother’s Day, pho real.

Mommy Needs Breaks Too

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My lovely wife recently bought me a GPS watch (Garmin Forerunner 410) with heart-rate monitor (HRM) to keep track of my running workouts. On Saturday morning, I decided to ramp up my Warrior Dash training by running my normal course twice for a total of 4 miles (or only 3.79 mi as my watch accurately informed me). What’s great about this watch is you can upload your workout data to a website and view the data visually in various charts and tables. You can see the data from my previous workout here.

Tary was set to leave the house for a girls-night-out but she was very upset when her cousins weren’t ready to leave on time. I felt bad because she doesn’t get to go out that often to relax and de-stress so I think it gets bottled up inside. The last thing she needed was to squander this free time waiting for others. I also need to be more helpful around the house so I can lessen some of the burden from her shoulders.

So Daniel, when you are old enough to read and understand this, please give your Mommy a big hug and a kiss and tell her that you love her. She spends hours pumping, cleaning bottles, doing laundry, cooking meals, changing diapers, and many other miscellaneous Mommy-tasks each week because she loves us. We just need to tell her that we love her too!

After a while Tary was able to get out of the house and do whatever girls do when they’re out. I called my BFF (who I affectionately call “Uncle Jesse” from the sitcom Full House) to come over and help me watch Daniel. Things started off pretty well. I was able to clean up around the house while Daniel took a nap. I fed him an early dinner and gave him his bath. Then we started to fade…

Daniel is like an energizer bunny. He never stops playing and simply wore us out. Uncle Jesse fell asleep on the sofa. I started to drift in and out on the living room floor. Daniel took liberties to climb all over and around my corpse.

Mercifully another friend texted me while returning from Boston. She came bearing gifts of Korean fried chicken from Bon Chon and some Dunkins iced coffee. It was like sipping liquid energy! Ahhh!!!

More friends came by to visit and Tary returned from her night out. We sat around and hung out. There’s nothing like having good fried chicken in the company of great friends.

We So Excited

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Please join me in welcoming Cam as the newest member of our family. Tary picked out the name. Isn’t it cute? Cam is perfect and Tary loves her already. Our families were excited for our special edition (sic). When we first laid eyes on her, Tary and I shared a look that said, “Yup, she’s the one. I can’t wait to bring her home and let everyone see her or take her for a drive around town.”

If you haven’t figured out by now, Cam is what Tary affectionately calls her new car, the 2011 Toyota Camry SE.

Tary’s old car was a painful reminder of what happened a few weeks earlier. It’s a great car but it’s like a big neon sign for ricers and ghetto people to target again. I’d go absolutely berserk if something happened to us again. It also was a coupe and it was becoming increasingly difficult for Tary to get Daniel into the car-seat. Whenever God blesses us with Baby #2, it would become practically impossible. It was time to replace it.

Once I was inceptioned with the thought of buying a new car, I started doing my research for current cars and promotions. Toyota was offering 0% financing for up to 5 years. I sent out requests for online quotes from nearby dealerships. After receiving a few bids, I came up with a number that was a few hundred dollars lower than the lowest bid. I called the Internet salesman from the closest dealership and frankly stated that if he could meet that price, I would show up in 15 minutes to sign the paperwork. He called me back an hour later and confirmed that he could do it. After going over the final figures over the phone, I asked him to list all of the expected fees and email it to me. I printed out the email, drove over there with Tary, and the rest was history.

This was the 2nd car I have negotiated and bought by myself. Asian parents pride themselves on their negotiating skills so many of our friends have their parents negotiate for them. I’m proud that I can do this on my own. We got a great price and you can’t beat 5 years, 0% financing.
And at the end of the day, Tary got a great car.

Tary: Mother, Wife, Mom-bie?

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I always struggle to come up with interesting topics to blog about so my loving wife reminded me recently that the boys (cats) and Daniel have had various posts written about them but I’ve yet to write one about just her. Though I’ve written a few things about Tary in a prior post about married life, I wanted to share a little more insight on my wife that extends beyond her obvious exterior beauty.

Though Tary and I have different personalities where she’s more reserved and I’m more outgoing, I love that Tary and I are similarly-minded people. We’re both old-fashioned and try to live by traditional “family values”. She doesn’t mind doing more of the household tasks while I handle the more labor-intensive duties. I respect her decisions and that she’s also willing to defer on the final say.

It’s hard for couples to work if the people are financially different. I’m so glad that Tary is also a “Saver”. We both work very hard for our money and it’s such a relief to never worry about Tary racking up ridiculous credit card bills or gambling our savings away.

I love that Tary is protective of our family and our values. She gets upset when people swear around Daniel. She gets annoyed when people don’t have manners or are inconsiderate. She really dislikes it when people say things like, “Wait until Daniel turns 2-years-old. Then you’ll really be in trouble.” Tary takes great pride in being the best mother that she can be and that she would never let Daniel or any of our future children to be able to control us.

Tary loves to read. Whenever she’s got a spare minute, she’s reading some new fan fiction online or a book on her e-reader. Tary does not have many hobbies but I’m glad she’s passionate about reading. Sometimes when she’s not looking, I watch her read because it makes me happy seeing her do something that makes her happy. She’s a huge fan of the Harry Potter series and I enjoy watching the movies with her. It’s her “thing” and I’m glad I can experience part of it with her.

One of the things I love most about Tary is that she is selfless. She tirelessly cares for Daniel. She spends hours every day pumping and cleaning parts and bottles. She’s fully committed to giving Daniel every advantage that she can provide. So when I hear Daniel look for her and call for “Momma”, it’s obvious why.

Another thing about Tary is that she spoils Daniel and me with love. She loves buying toys and playing silly games with him just to hear him laugh. One of Daniel’s favorite games is I hold him and run around the house while Tary chases us like a zombie. I refer to her as the “Mom-bie”.

Daniel and I are both very blessed to have Tary in our lives. We both love her so much…even when she’s trying to eat our brains!

Emergency Room – Part Trois

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Another week has gone by and this one was just as eventful as last week. For starters, Tary and I were getting ready for bed on Monday night when Tary started feeling an intense pain radiating from the right side of her back. Thinking that it was just normal pregnancy aches and pains, she took a warm bath hoping that the pain would go away. Instead, it continued to get worse. She called her doctor and they told her to go to the ER. We hopped in my car and we rushed to LGH. That’s 3 visits to the ER for those who are counting.

There were tons of other people at the ER. I never understood why there are always so many people there, especially at midnight when we arrived. It felt like forever for Tary to get admitted. The receptionist was taking her sweet time entering in Tary’s information and getting her paperwork. Thankfully, someone from the maternity ward came with a wheelchair and brought Tary over to their area.

They had Tary change into a hospital gown and then hop on a table. The nurse attached several sensors to Tary’s abdomen. One measured the frequency and probably intensity of contractions and the other measured the baby’s heartbeat. Thank God that Baby Trinh was fine through all of this.

The nurse tried to take a sample of Tary’s blood from her wrist. Fail. That left a bruise. The second attempt was more successful. They were checking for signs of an infection (e.g., elevated white blood cell count). Our ob/gyn came and performed some tests and hypothesized that it could either be a kidney infection or a kidney stone. Tary and I have no experience with either scenario so it definitely was scary.

The ob/gyn gave Tary a pair of Percocets for the pain. Fail. He then gave a dose of Dilaudid. Fail again. It didn’t help much with the pain and I felt helpless as I watched Tary cringe throughout the night. The whole time, I sat in the glider next to the table. We had to wait until the next morning for an ultrasound to check for kidney stones. We tried to get as much rest as we could but it was a very long night.

The next morning, a nurse came and wheeled Tary down to the ultrasound area. I followed close behind. The ultrasound didn’t reveal anything in either the kidney or the bladder. After the tests, the nurse wheeled Tary to another room which was larger than the one we had the first night. Back I went to the glider.

It felt like forever but they came back a few hours later. They moved Tary to yet another room but this time, she had a roommate. A new nurse came and tried to stick a needle in the back of Tary’s hand to start an IV. Fail. It’s a common theme, huh? And that left a bruise too. Smartly, the nurse knew when to call in more experienced hands so she grabbed another nurse. Nurse part deux took a look and immediately called for another person. Nurse part trois came and was able to get the IV started in Tary’s forearm. They fed some fluids and antibiotics through the IV to help pass the kidney stone and to fight off any possible infections.

In the afternoon, I had to go home to feed the boys and to get my laptop. While I was at home, Tary called me with wonderful news that she had finally passed the kidney stone. She immediately started to feel better. I rushed back to the hospital and got to take a peek at the stone. It was pretty buff.

They had Tary stay another night just for precautionary reasons. My friends S.Y. and his brother came to visit and bring some dinner. It was nice to see them and I was glad that Tary was doing much better. I tried to stay as long as I could but had to leave for the night. I missed my wife.

Tary got to come home the next day. It was great having my wife back home and feeling good again. It was really the scariest thing we’ve ever been through and I thank God that Tary and Baby are doing pretty well. A nurse told us that compared to kidney stones, giving birth would be much easier. Obviously I can’t vouch for that but for Tary’s sake, I hope that she was right.